Fattest Woman In The World Marries Chef

No effing waaaaaay!!

Dude.

SORT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hold on.

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SO FOUL.

Mom Who Wants To Become Fattest Woman In World Marries Chef

Well, this should motivate her towards her “goal” of becoming fattest woman in the world.  And what a goal it is!!!

I like a woman with goals!  SO SEXY!

Her kids must be really happy for her!!

Get this:

The pair met over the internet last year and hit it off following a string of emails.

YOU GOTTA BE SHITTING ME!!!!!

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They met on the web?????!!!!!

NOT OK, Cupid!!! 

And then it says…

Within months Parker moved in to Susanne’s home in Casa Grande, Arizona, where she lives with sons Brendin, 13, and Gabriel, 17.

No way!  DUDE, YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE!!!!!!!!!!

Weren’t any of his friends like “uhhh,  RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, MAN!!!!!!

This woman will literally eat your heart out.

And so, are we to assume, this dude was like, on a dating website, and saw this woman’s PROFILE PIC and was like…

O la la!  WELL, WHAT DO HAVE WE HERE???

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Daddy likey!  Daddy must email-y!!!!

"Dear Megan Fox, Did it hurt when you fell from the sky angel?

Who cooks your seven dinners for you?  <3  Spaz”

End it.

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Who could be without her?  She’s dainty, yet confident.

GREG JOHNSON

Daily Mail - Mom Who Dreams Of Becoming World’s Largest Woman Marries Chef 

  1. stalkingboys reblogged this from higregjohnson
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  8. grumblefeatures reblogged this from higregjohnson and added:
    this upsets me mainly because she has children. nice she found love though..
  9. queerpinkeevee reblogged this from higregjohnson and added:
    AHAHAAH THE REGURGITATING PICTURE OH GOd
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